A spirit-guided life

I've wanted to live a "spirit-guided" life since the first time I heard the phrase.  It sounded beautiful, special... clear.  I'm not even sure I understood what it truly meant.  Perhaps a part of me thought that my life would be some how blessed or special..?   Or perhaps easier...?  

Well, nope.   It doesn't mean that (from my personal experience).  Don't get me wrong, it is a worthwhile goal.  But not for those of you wanting the familiar or comfortable.  You see, your spirit (and mine) wants to grow, to heal, to return us to as close to our divine state as it can.  And to do this, we must learn.  And to learn we must change and grow... and evolve... and we do this thru experience.  

So spirit-guided means basically "let's fuckin go out and experience LIFE!" - the grief, the bliss, the despair, the joy, the passion, the grit, the fury, the dirt... everything.  

My belief is that to have this "spirit-guided" life, you only need to do 2 things:

1) desire it and

2) do what your spirit tells you to do

It brings to mind this poem I wrote, entitled "The Express Bus," trying to capture the moment I listened to what my spirit said, even though it told me to do the one thing I'd spent my life avoiding.  

The express bus 🚌

I looked up one day and there it was,
Waiting with an open door for me,
The bus.

It wasn't just a normal bus, it was a special express bus,
One that picks up riders only on special occasions.
You see, I knew this...  
   ... I had asked for this bus... long ago... 

However, I hadn't expected it to arrive so suddenly like this.
I hadn't expected to have to jump on and leave so quickly.
I didn't want to leave you in that way.
I wanted to linger.
But I had lingered for so long already ...
   ...and we only have so much time to begin with...

God knew this.
He knew that I had to choose in a definitive way,
Not for him, but for me.
So he sent the bus ...
  ...and there it sat... waiting ...

A window of only a few minutes to choose....

So much to walk away from...
So much to let go of ...

Yet there was no choice for me.
My heart nearly leapt with joy to feel me move,
To see me close that distance between myself and the open door.

Though I took nothing with me
I did look back.   ... just so you know ... many, many times.
But it did not matter - I had made this choice before I was born.
The bus was scheduled ... and ordered.

My hand gripped the handrail...
As my terry clothed covered slippers came to rest on the step of the bus.
"Yes", I said to the bus driver, "I'm on"